Listening

I'd like to think that I'm an analytical listener... or a critical listener... or a task-oriented listener... I'd like to think that I have objective judgement or a keen ear or a perpetual interest to find a solution—any of those. However what I have is empathy and, let's admit it, attachment issues. 

I'm just kidding; I don't have attachment issues. However, I am a relational listener.

I wouldn't say that I prefer to listen to people's emotions and feelings (as is claimed relational listeners do, in the book)... but I do tend to. 

I feel as though one can choose between listening styles, although perhaps they primarily identify with one. This is probably why at first glance I thought "Oh, I'm probably an analytical listener, wait, or a critical listener, no wait, a task-ori—" just because there will be times in life when you need to adopt to these other listening styles to effectively, well, listen in differing contexts. 

Primarily, I identify with the relational listening style because of my tendency to, simply put, put people first. If you come to me teary-eyed or filled with rage or are bouncing off the walls even if I'm not, I'll sit through your entire spiel and listen to it all. And I'm okay with it, even happy to do it.

Most other people must not be relational listeners though, for whenever I've fallen into those moments that I need to rant or unload the details of my day to someone, the response I receive, I dare say, cannot compete with my own after twenty minutes of me listening to someone tell me about how their best friend and them got into a huge fight because one told the other that they had "changed" (I am clearly not analytic in these situations because the whole time I can assure you I am thinking "are you serious why are you crying why girl why" BUT I am listening and I will feel emphatic regardless).

That being said, there's no specific time I can think of when I felt I wasn't being listened to, because there's a slur of them. But the emphatic part of me understands that not everyone can be so emotionally connected, so it's all good. Although it would be cool if people could be a tad more emphatic.

As for me, my listening is in no way perfect. I may be able to sympathize well but where does that take you past the "I'm so sorry" or "I feel you girl"? I think the idea of identifying your listening goal is interesting, and think that actively engaging in that could help improve my listening. In a way it's a stepping stone to identifying which listening approach would be best to take.